Oh what a night…

… I so needed tonight in so many ways!

First of all, I have to undergo some catharsis – I have been really depressed for a few weeks now … you will be thinking … so what? … but you need to understand that I am the nurturer, I’m the inspirer, I’m the strong one, I’m the supportive one, I’m the stable one, etc. etc. etc. So, first of all, I don’t know how to deal with being down in the dumps, second of all, I can’t communicate to people that I am down in the dumps, and lastly, most people don’t notice I’m down in the dumps because my facade is pretty stable and mostly impenetrable.

Why am I down? I think it’s the time of year, for the last 18 months or so I’ve been really down during the events, you know, Christmas, Valentines, New Years, Birthday … because I’m just so lonely at these times. The rest of the year I’m a really content, happy, well-rounded single, but round the holidays lately I just feel so alone 🙁 Everyone is paired up with their significant other & busy with their lives & I’m alone! And yes, I know, my life could be WAY worse, and most people would look at me and think what does she have to be down about … but I am human, I do have feelings, and yup, I sometimes get down… shoot me! 😀

This has caused some tension with Dreamer, my closest friend, who (rightly or wrongly) I expect to notice these things! Being male and rather self absorbed, he doesn’t. And the more he doesn’t notice, the lonelier and more isolated I feel, the rattier I get and so the spiral goes. Anyway, finally tonight, via BlackBerry Messenger (of all means) I came clean with him, and I think he actually got quite a fright… he’s not used to being the nurturer, or the fixer, so kudos to him for trying!

Now, with this background in mind … I hit the local (Characters) with Frenchy and her crowd tonight, and a few wonderful things happened…

Now, I’m not religious (in the true sense) but an angel was sent to me tonight… a wonderful woman I have never met before was in the group of Bokkies, and after relocating to another venue, she turned to me and said, “Can I be honest and tell you what I see in you? You are so comfortable in your own skin, you look like a woman who knows who she is and actually likes herself! You also look like you know you are worth an enormous amount, and will not settle for just anything. I bet everyone here is looking at you and thinking how stunning you are and it has nothing to do with the outside, it’s because your inside shines through and confidence makes you gorgeous!” I literally almost cried! If ever there was an angel at the right place at the right time, she was it for me tonight. Thank you universe for sending her because I so needed to hear that tonight!

So, serious stuff out the way, what of last night’s shenanigans 🙂

There was, as is customary, quite a lot of hilarity tonight 😀 The standing joke of the evening was, “Did you know it’s National Orgasm Day? Are you coming? (scuze the pun) :D”. We laughed out loud at this a number of times, as is customary after a number of shooters 🙂 A local character (not to be named for fear of repercussions – hahaha) who’s known for being a tough guy in more ways than one, couldn’t keep his eyes off himself, every mirror he passed he literally started flexing his muscles and posing – please! get a frikking life! And sleeveless vest wife beaters are so out dude, seriously! The hottest dude in Raffles was a Rastafarian (not sure if I agree with the “white boy playing Rastafarian thing – also, so out dude!) – I would so have kissed that boy, but the crowd on the dance floor was so young and so amorous, that Frenchy and I literally fled back up to the VIP section with haste! These kids these days should get a room! Shocker! Clearly Raffles is the place for kids to hook up at these days. Sally Hansen Lip Plumper is hell of a fun – especially when we all start kissing each other to spread the love 😀

Oh hat, almost forgot about one of the funniest parts … one of the Bokkies tells us this story … she says you know you’ve had a good night when your koek leaves the jol ahead of you … now I have to describe the hand actions to go along with this story … straight arms ahead of you clapping the hands … kinda like you’re imitating a seal clapping 😀 FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! Frenchy and I almost had a completely different koek problem … we almost pee’d in our bloody broeks … we laughed, laughed, laughed and laughed some more. We asked this Bokkie, “So, how do you know this?”, and she replies, “Cos it’s happened to me! Shit that was a good night!”, more hilarity… eventually Frenchy and I decided that’s one strange koek that Bokkie has 😀 LOL!

Frenchy and I left at a very responsible 2am, and after the customary Steers detour on the way home, I hit the sack hard 🙂 Could so do with some Cream Soda now, delivery please!!!

Christmas Shopping today – woop woop 🙂

Go away bloody rain, can’t go to Haunted House Beach Party in this!

1 Comment

  1. Genna-wae on January 26, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    omg this was so funny, well the latter half was, sadly the first half was so relevant to how I feel about myself some days.

    I know exactly how you feel, people turn to you for this added support in their lives even when they have partners to lean on, sometimes I wonder who can I depend on. So often it feels like anyone else you do attempt to turn to either just doesnt get you or would just fall apart at the notion of being your pillar of strength.

    Us loopy cancerians and our hard exo skeletons, right?Dont worry, I will happilly prop you up when you need someone to lean against!just hope we wont have to lean simultanteously cos then we will be screwed!hahaha!