If you have never built and grown a successful business (and I don’t mean you working from home on your own here) you may not understand the workload, pressure and sheer determination involved.
I get that, not everyone can understand what I’m going through. What amazes me is how some people judge my unavailability to them, or my disinterest in doing things with them.
Sun Goddess and I used to equate our business to raising a baby … But in actual fact having a baby seems far easier to me … You can leave your baby at day care, with a baby sitter, friend or family member for a period and reasonably expect to collect your baby later in one piece because let’s face it, anyone can look after a baby, feed, change, burp, rock … I mean everyone can do that or at the very least be shown how in 10 minutes or less. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to run a business, not everyone can learn the skills required in 10 minutes! I can’t just park my business off with someone for a day or even an hour and have a break and then expect to collect it in healthy form later. So I am revising what Sun Goddess and I have said in the past, our business is not like our baby, not even vaguely. I don’t only have one human baby relying on me for care, I have a number of people relying on me to continue feeding their families, babies, etc.
Consequently, I have had to sacrifice and sideline a lot in my life for this business. I do so happily because its a cause I believe in passionately, because I’m still blessed with being in my business enough to see the lives we’re changing on a daily basis, and because I’m still having fun (most days) doing it!
Some friends understand the sacrifice and don’t guilt me … Others do not!
In some ways I think I’ve become like a female version of “that guy” … You know the one I mean … the one that never commits to anything until a minute before, who you can’t count on to be there, and who will let you down at the last minute for something he considers more “fun”.
To be quite frank, I’m over feeling guilty about it. But sometimes I still do, call it human nature. This weekend for example I’m in Gauteng on business and missing my oldest best friend Bond Girl’s son’s 2 year birthday party. I have yet to see Doc Bel and her twin boys since she gave birth. I have yet to arrange our next book club get together. I haven’t seen my family in 4 weeks. And the list goes on!
I have extremely little spare time at the moment, my days are scheduled until the end of January! Yup, you read right! So I’m being “that guy”, I’m being selfish, and I’m choosing to spend my limited down time where it suits me best!
If you’re someone who’s seeing me regularly, it’s because you make me laugh, help me have fun, or help me forget the daily pressure I’m under for a couple of hours. THAT is what I need right now … And for once in my life … MY life is about what I need … Not whatever YOU need from me!
Everyone’s entitled to be selfish sometimes and my time is now! You don’t have to like it anymore than I have to care!