What planet are you from?

Have you ever found yourself in a shop, in a centre, in a particular part of town, and you suddenly look around and realise everyone’s looking at you like you’re a Martian … ya that!  Disappointing when the area in question is your old haunt and where you used to live!  Like, really?  Have I changed THAT much?  Maybe so…

I admit – I spend most of my life north of the river these days – with my store in Umhlanga – I normally shop at The Mall (La Lucia) or Gateway (not my favourite).  I do my food shopping at Woolies Foods in my centre, my groceries at Hyper By The Sea … I live in Morningside – so I also frequent the Woolies Foods and Food Lover’s Market in Cowey Rd as well – and that’s really become the extent of my small world when it comes to shopping centres.

So yesterday afternoon I found myself on the South side of town dropping my mom off to fetch her car from being fixed … on the Bluff … so since I was going to be driving through Glenwood, and it wasn’t too late yet, I thought I’d pop into my old favourite butchery Dirk’s Butchery in the Davenport Centre and do my meat shopping for the month.  Davenport Centre is undergoing a revamp and actually looking quite snazzy … and they have all the usual shops … but at some point … waiting in the crammed Friday afternoon queue to pay inside the Checkers, I looked up from entertaining myself on my cellphone and realised I was being scrutinised by those around me … I guess makeup and Iron Fist platforms and skinny black jeans and a red top aren’t every day occurrences there anymore!  Really?!?!  I’m like 5km away from my home and a mere 18km from Umhlanga and I was being looked at like I’d just landed with an alien craft!  Granted, when I started looking around, I was clearly the exception to the rule, since I left Glenwood, apparently some community decision had been taken that women in the area should let themselves go in general and then in particular go to the shops in torn, stained clothes with no makeup and hair that definitely hasn’t seen a brush, drag your undisciplined children with, barefoot, chewing gum and looking down at anyone who takes pride in their appearance.

I finally got through the queue there and headed across to Dirk’s Butchery for my meat, grabbed what I could from the shelves and then headed to the counter to get what I needed from the oke working there.  I turned round to head to the register and caught a little non verbal exchange between Man Butcher and Woman Teller regarding me … which when I smiled knowingly at them indicating I was in on the joke, became a verbal sparring over me – like really???!!!!  You know, for those who don’t know me, it’s not like I’m drop dead gorgeously slim and beautiful – I mean I think I’m gorgeous (shouldn’t every woman?)  but really I’m rather average – certainly not deserving of the ogling I got – I clearly just looked completely out of place.

So, in conclusion, my apology letter is below:

Dear Glenwood

I have to apologise, my behaviour was absolutely uncalled for.  How dare I pop in to the shops in my work clothes, I should have known better, I should have gone home, taken my makeup off, ruffled my hair, put on sweatpants and a stained t-shirt and headed back to do my shopping barefoot and chewing gum with attitude.

I have learned my lesson, I shall stay on my side of the river with my sexy shoes in future.

Your loss
The Madame

1 Comment

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