Why I hate threesomes!
I bet you thought this was a naughty post, didn’t you? 😉 Well, read on anyway ‘cos I may have you wet your pants in other ways 😉 …
Have you ever noticed that like celebrity deaths, a lot of other things come in three’s?
This week for me it is… falling SPECTACULARLY! Because, you also know, you can never fall quietly, alone, with no audience, DUH! What is that? What cruel, cruel force of nature causes that?
Monday’s busy day of car dealership visits ended with a mildly spectacular fall UP the stairs… yes, I am THAT talented! I categorise this as a mild fall because no skin was broken! In the humiliation category, it was gory and spectacular. Camera went this way, folder full of paper went that way, limbs went in all directions … and at the time 5 or 6 other people were heading up or down the same stairs!
Why I can never fall quietly, I don’t know either, my slow-motion-like splat is always accompanied by me wailing, “WAAAAAAA!” on the way down! Because humiliation needs a soundtrack after all! Incidentally, I was in the flattest flat shoes I own, so absolutely NO heals excuse this time!
The next morning I had an appointment with a new client to do some web work so, dolled up in my usual stilettos, I arrive at their offices, park my car in front of their warehouse and strut towards the reception area, Blackberry in one hand checking mail, folder in the other, handbag slung over the shoulder, the epitome of efficiency and glamour (LOL) and at speed on uneven tar! Yes, I know! Shaking my head at myself! Needless to say, I hit a wobble, went down on all fours, and bloodied my knee up with the whole workshop watching! I gather myself together, patting myself on the back for managing to fall only in front of the “workers” only to get shown through to the owners office which has a view of my spectacular entrance!
Today, rushing around at the boutique as usual, schizophrenically jumping between my notebook and the shop machine (I have a habit when I sit down at my desk of tucking one leg under my bum and sitting on it) … all very well and good … until you’re wearing a floaty waterfall-type jersey thing and spike heels! Yup, you know where this is going right? I jump up from the desk to rush to the next thing, expecting the leg I was sitting on to follow … and … not so much … the spike heel is caught in the back of my jersey! Almost splat … TWICE!!!!
I’m regaling Fashion Girl with this story and she has the following insights:
Fashion Girl: Clearly this is a defence mechanism!
Me: Against what? Knee Health? LOL
Fashion Girl: No man, we laugh at ourselves to feel less of a spectacle!
Me: Okaaaayyyy…
Fashion Girl: So today’s lesson comes from the Incredibles… Super Heroes shouldn’t wear capes!
Me: BWAAHAHAHAHA
Fashion Girl: Neither should sensual boutique owners! And waterfall tops with spike heels are like capes for sensual boutique owners!
Me: HAHAHAHAHA Too true!
I’m really hoping my 2 “almost” splats yesterday count for one “actual” splat and that this is the end of this particularly unpleasant threesome … for this week at least!