Evolving friendships … glory :)

I think I must be very intimidating to Dreamer’s girlfriends. I try to put myself in their shoes, and I get it, honestly, I get it. I mean I’m like his sister, but he used to shag me many moons ago, EECCKKK!!! They must have palpitations every time they think of me. But really! This is 2010. There is such a thing as platonic friendship. And I think if we haven’t touched each other in years (fucked if I know how many, not keeping track, but would guess at least 5 years?!) then your budding relationship is safe … from me at any rate 😀

Dreamer and I have an intense friendship, granted! We don’t have one of these superficial, drinking buddy, acquaintance kinda friendships! We actually TALK, about what’s happening in our lives and about how we feel about all sorts of shit. We tell each other practically EVERYTHING! The good, the bad and yes, often even the ugly! As Dreamer puts it, he tells me more than God! We just have one of those friendships. I think what it boils down to is acceptance – yes, we have opinions about what we’re doing, and we sometimes even argue, but at the end of the day, we know we both accept each other, warts and all, and that allows the open sharing. If you know someone will always be there, you don’t need to pretend to be someone or have airs and graces, you can just show them your true colours. Also, I think if someone has seen you at your worst, there’s really no reason for pretence. It’s family! Best way to describe it for me, is Dreamer is my brother from another mother. And I think he feels the same way, with his sister living in the UK, I’m like the adopted sister. Sometimes big extended events are great, but sometimes you want some one-on-one time with your family to really talk! Well, that’s me anyway, I’m a Cancerian after all 🙂 As is Dreamer.

Enter girlfriend and now suddenly Dreamer and I aren’t allowed alone time anymore, she expects to be invited when we see each other. So we can do what? Talk about the weather? She’s basically a stranger to me, so I certainly won’t share my news with her around. And Dreamer will have to share only what she can hear! So, my choices are I can be Dreamers acquaintance, and only see him in her company, or I can loose contact entirely. Lovely!

When did this all come to a head? Well, Dreamer and I haven’t really seen each other in a few weeks now, knowing that The Dove is sensitive about our “alone time”. I’ve sort of left it, hoping it’s a time thing and they’re just feeling out the boundaries of their relationship, but on Friday he chatted to me briefly on MSN and said he needed to bounce some stuff off me, I was having a hectic week, so he suggested last night, Monday, he asked if he could come round, and naturally, I said of course. Note, I didn’t prompt this visit, Dreamer did. I know him well enough to know he misses me, it’s been a while since we talked and he needs a catch up. Come Monday and he obviously had to check with The Dove and suddenly it was a problem, and he had to cancel. She feels it’s rude that she’s not invited. And I feel it’s rude that she’s downgrading our friendship to an acquaintanceship. So I guess we’re at an impasse.

In all this I feel sorry for Dreamer, who’s stuck between us and solely able to successfully navigate this impasse. Sending white light to him and trying not to feel resentful towards someone who I need to try and be friends with.

And all this ‘cos I was born with a vagina! If only she knew her boyfriend well enough to know he doesn’t actually even see me as a chick! He sees me as a brain and that’s it! The boy wouldn’t notice if I had a sex change and started dressing as a Goth! The irony! Glory!

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous on February 17, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    I think yu'll find the issue lies with Dreamer and his nature… Women are naturally sceptical of men like him, especially nice women so I would see this as a natural sign that The Dove is genuinely in love with Dreamer and needs to feel the same before she'll go on to let Dreamer be himself… it may never actually happen of course, as we all know Dreamer and he doesn't know a good thing if it stood staring at him in the face.

    Give him space and he'll be back in his own time, you got better things to be getting on with in the meantime.