The gym has got to be one of the funniest places for me at the moment… what little spare time I have, I try to hit the gym, I’m seeing such results and loving the process, so I’m making time right now. Last night, I was meeting the girls at movies at 8pm to watch New Moon, be still my beating heart! So after I closed the shop at 6pm, I dashed to the gym for a quick 40 min cardio session before movies.
It was while on the orbital trainer thingy that I had my first hilarious gym encounter of the evening. I had my earphones in and was watching VH1 on one of the plasmas in the gym, I can’t even remember what music video it was but I had a good giggle and was smiling while watching, until, in typical style, I noticed that the guy on the cardio machine just past the screen, facing me, thought I was smiling at him! Mortified, I made a big display of adjusting my earphones and squinting at the screen, hoping he’d have an epiphany and realise that he was in fact NOT the object of my rapt attention! Alas, he was not that smart! And proceeded to stalk me around the gym, joining me next to whatever machine I was on at the time, needing to frequent the water cooler at the exact same moment as I needed to, you get the picture. My 40 minute workout, became a 30 minute workout, at which time I escaped at speed into the change rooms to get ready for movies.
This is not the first encounter of this type I had this week, I was at a different gym the other morning, again for a quick cardio session, and none of my favourite orbital training machines were available, in fact, the gym was pretty full, so I eventually found a free stepper, I stepped on and started stepping away, and out of the corner of my eye noticed that the guy on the stepper next to me, glanced over, saw me, suddenly ripped his shirt off, straightened up and started stepping away, like a real poser! Eyes rolling! Needless to say, I moved on from that stepper pretty quickly!
Now, these experiences have me thinking, is gym just another pick up joint or what? It would seem yes, as I constantly see these waifish little nymphettes going through a full beauty regime BEFORE entering the gym! When I say full beauty regime, I mean a 10 minute examination in the mirror, making sure the swishy ponytail is perfect, the crotch cutting shorty shorts are positioned just so, the full face of makeup is perfect, etc., etc. My poor personal trainer is lucky if I put Lip Ice on before I hit the gym! So I find this primping and preening pre-workout session highly amusing!
I could not look worse at the gym! My workout gear leaves much to be desired and is chosen for comfort and coolness (as in the temperature) not coolness (as in trendiness)! I am actually there to workout, not put out, so I sweat, A LOT, which generally has the effect of leaving sweat soaked patches in rather unmentionable places – dude, this is NOT attractive!
Here’s a tip for the okes at the gym, hit on the gym bunny in the fanny pelmet shorts who spent 10 minutes studying herself in the mirror before heading out to the gym, and who strolls lithely on the treadmill so a bead of sweat doesn’t ruin her perfect fringe! Don’t hit on me, sweating and pummeling the machine, I’m actually there to gym!